just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
