Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
