At least make sure they are 18
Why
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
