had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize