My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
