hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
