pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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