Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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