For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
