is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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