It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
