I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
