i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
