just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I want a musical about memes.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize