I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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