ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
