Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
