I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dick very happy bro
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
