I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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