my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
