Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
