After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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