last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
