It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
