1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Help. Why am I so naked?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize