Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Green mimosas i think yes
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
