he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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