So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
