I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Did I show you my penis last night?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
