i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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