I feel like I'm in dance class right now
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
