yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
