my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
our cab driver is having phone sex.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
