We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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