Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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