im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
