Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
