By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
