Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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