I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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