Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
