So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
