Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
