singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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