Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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