so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
