I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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