my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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