Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
