I like to think it a success when the cops are called
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
