Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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