hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We have started to decorate penises.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
