My liver just broke up with me...
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
