somebody snuck up and got me drunk
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
