Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
