Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
