My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
What a dumb baby whore.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize