he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Randomize
