Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
