dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
