her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
