That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
