I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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