Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
