this boner is exhausting
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
