Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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