wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
